Ideas about Tenderness from “Little Fires Everywhere”
Tenderness. It’s the gentle embrace of a mother that silences wailing. It’s the nod on the street from that next-door neighbor that’s watched you grow up. It’s the feeling of belonging. In the 2020 hit miniseries, Little Fires Everywhere, pictures of tenderness and pictures of utter loneliness and despair are painted through the lives and the experiences of the main characters, Elena and Mia. Their stories, and the way they collide, ask the question, “To whom do we belong?”
Where a question is asked, answers flood in. And for Elena Richardson (played by Reese Witherspoon), mother of four, perfect white smile set in just the right shade of red lipstick, the answer to the above question would probably be, “Oh, me? I belong to the Homeowners’ Association.” The story kicks off with a destruction of this ideal, however: a home burned down to the ground. And this is the culmination of all the rhythms of forced belonging we see illustrated by this character throughout the story of Little Fires. Elena has taken every lemon bush that sprouted in the garden of her life, manicured each little branch, and made sure every drop of lemonade is Southern sweet with the sharpness of Northside tang.
Mia Warren (Kerry Washington) would probably despise the idea of her herself belonging to anyone, but one glance at her daughter, Pearl (Lexi Underwood), would bring that simmer of annoyance to a complete stop. Her story starts with nightmares. We find her living as a Black woman from out of her car, homeless when she could be relishing the full glory of her status as a renowned and talented photographer. Mia’s is the picture of the kind of passionate belonging we think of when we talk about true love, hoping against hope, and finding your soul-mate. Hers is the story of a belonging that is wrestled from the hand of God, Fate and anyone else who would dare stand in her way.
Little Fires Everywhere tells us that the first people we belong to are ourselves. For Izzy (Megan Stott), Elena’s youngest daughter, belonging to herself is a journey she takes with determination, no matter the shame, pain or humiliation of each step. As she navigates what it means to be herself, she finds a kindred spirit in Mia who knows exactly what this exploration can feel like. With Izzy comes the next bittersweet lemon-drop of an answer.
We belong to our people. Many rankle at this idea because to belong to others is not always a space of safety. Even in the spaces where many others would express feeling the most at home, the ones with the brightest smiles and most put-together facades will confess to the loneliness of existing in a world where it feels like your being will only be accommodated as long as you follow a certain sense of rules. Elena knows all about following rules; with her lawyer of a husband and their Elena-appointed sex schedule, the strictness of society is nothing new to her.
From Lexie Richardson (Jade Pettyjohn), Elena’s eldest daughter, and her interaction with Pearl, we learn that belonging can be traded at a price, even if both parties aren’t aware of the exchange. In our younger years, we learn to trade these behaviors for the tenderness of community. Do this, do that, smile this way, drop the accent for the people to actually let you in to the fold. In the end, this economy breaks us because belonging is meant to be a gift founded on trust and mutual care.
To see a situation from the outside sometimes offers a clearer view. And this miniseries dropped a pouch of precious gems, an abundance of mirrors and magnifying glasses. Ultimately, it said belonging is a dynamic process. The question cannot just be, “To whom do we belong?” It must become, “To whom do we belong and how?” Without the messiness of questions and conflict, without the vulnerability of interdependence, the rhythms of belonging will be oppressive and constricting. If we have no space for the courage it takes to really belong, the ruin will set every little picket in the fence ablaze. Belonging is about the readiness to live with Little Fires Everywhere.
English