You are responsible for your artistic flame

The Artist-Creator’s Office | Dispatch No. 5

The first and most important yes you can receive in your work as an artist-creator is your own. Because of the world we live in, so influenced by social media, many of us skip this first crucial step and go straight to seeking the validation and acceptance of others. I like to see the creative urge as a spark. Every flame begins as a spark. Your yes to your calling is the first spark in the journey. When we say yes, this is what invites inspiration and the space to pursue ideas from their conception until they are realized, growing the spark.

If the creative urge is a spark, continually saying yes to this urge grows it into a small flame. Small flames require equal parts care and freedom. Putting too much kindling on a small flame will quench it. Fanning a small flame or putting it in the path of strong wind will put it out. Small flames need only air to grow. With air and small bits of kindling, a small flame can be sustained. So what does this mean practically?

A couple years ago, I attended a workshop by a renowned Kenyan author. I loved every second and come Q&A time, I felt the release to open up about my own writing practice. The particular challenge I was facing at the time was that I had started writing a fiction series and because of how well-received the series was, I was afraid to finish the series with the plot points I had in mind. I was afraid of judgement and letting the fans down. The author leading the workshop said they pitied me and that I was in the worst place a writer could be. Beyond this, they didn’t offer any guidance, except that I needed to recede back into my shell and let the crowds pass over until the wave had subsided. Sometimes we expose our small creative urges to harsh critics and their input causes us to begin to second-guess our yes.

This exposure snuffed out my fiction writing flame. And I supported that snuffing because I believed this person with their huge readership knew best for me and my practice. If I had used the things I learned, outside of the Q&A, and continued answering my yes, no matter how afraid I was of my readership, who knows what my fiction writing would be today? Yet, because I overwhelmed my urge with information (too much kindling) and exposed it to overwhelming negative feedback (wind), my urge left me and my longing for it has been buried deep in my heart since.

Your small flame, your budding creative urge is your responsibility to nurture and protect. It will guide you if you have the courage to continue saying yes every day. Engaging compassionately with your flame will allow it to become the kind of practice you long for. Many people want to be “successful” artists, but they are not willing to nurture themselves as artists. The glamor of the artistic life draws them in, but it cannot woo them into devotion to their unpalatable aspects, towards their growth areas, and towards the difficult emotions that creating art often brings up.

For these people, when tools that function as short cuts become available to them, they jump at the chance without another thought about what it could do to their journey with self. Outsourcing becomes bypassing. They opt out from the conversation that their artistic selves and their art are trying to initiate. The budding artists trade their relationship with themselves for the cop-out of outward appearances of expertise.

Questions to ponder

When was the last time I said yes to my own creative urge?

Where does my yes rank in importance compared to all the other yeses I’m seeking out?

How is my creative flame doing?

What is the most compassionate thing I could offer to my creative flame?

How am I bypassing my story with myself?

Has glamor wooed me into devotion? OR Do I remain on the surface of my artistic depths, staring at imagined reflections, ignoring the invitations to plunge in and say yes?

If you enjoy my writing and want to support my work, please feel free to buy me a coffee. Substack doesn’t currently enable writers in Africa to be paid on their platform, so a couple clicks would mean the world to me! Thank you so much for reading.